MY weeping Heart

My Weeping Heart

It grows stronger day by day
But I push it away
It wails and and it weeps
So I force it to sleep
I feel every tear and every twist
I almost can’t resist
To cradle it, help it heal
To release some of what I feel
But I continue on like I don’t see
Like everything is fine, and I’m still me
But there’s this little voice in my head
That talks to me before bed
Don’t ignore it, don’t wait
Soon it’ll be too late
But I’m already lying down
About to breakdown
I stop myself, and close my eyes
And push little voice and all it’s “lies”
For now I will rest
Tomorrow I’ll deal with the war in my chest
Some nights it works, it goes away
But on others  it chooses to stay
It cries and it leaps
So much so I can’t sleep
I feel it beat under the skin of my wrist
Makes me wish I didn’t exist
Some days it turns to steel
And I don’t feel real
But yet again I hear the plea
Please please just set me free
It fills me with dread
That I can’t go ahead
And set it straight
To make everything great
For a second I calm down
Stop my self before I drown
In the pain and the cries
That I don’t recognize
Maybe, maybe its for the best
Maybe I’m just blessed
Maybe it’s meant to be this way
Maybe everything is just okay
My heart may moan and groan
Fortunately it isn’t of stone
It’s funny how the pain
Is what’s keeping me sane
If not for my weeping heart
I would’ve fallen apart

~Anna Brown

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